south african beef

Joined

• started 21 topics
• posted 592 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by south african beef

• 
  71

  Intro

  by mavie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello from mavie.

  currently happily married for a number of years to a great jw wife, i currently serve as an ms in our local kh.

  my wife and i have been told we are pillars in the congregation.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  Welcome Mavie,
  
  You are obviously going through a lot and I'm not going to tell you do do this or to do that.
  
  What I will say is when I was a MS I did find it v v hard to continue to accomplish everything that was asked of me. The pressure seemed immense - I had a wife who never went on field service, never answered up, never prepared for meetings, left all spritual training of our children to me, never had a job, always expected me to earn more and more money to fund her lifestyle - yet the elders said that Jehovah would understand that she was a timid person and that she was probably doing all she could. I was stunned. Whatever I did was never enough - not enough hours on field service, not enough preparation for the meetings, even though I did give very good talks they often gave me 'work ons' to try amd make me do more. Others were amazed.
  
  I eventually started slowing down - rather than trying to find out what was wrong and how they could help me, I just got castigated more and more.
  
  I started to get panic attacks which progressively got worse and worse. I had to take quite a few weeks off work to try and sort myself out, including going to see a psycologist - something my JW mum thought was unwise.
  
  I was very surprised at the lack of love shown to me at the time.
  
  I am no longer a JW, after being a babtised Witness for well over 20 years. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but all I can say is that I have never ever felt better than I do now.
  
  All the best,
  South African Beef
• 
  23

  I DIDN'T GO!! I DIDN'T GO!!!!

  by Bumble Bee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i can't believe it, but i missed my first memorial!!!.

  i wasn't sure what was going to happen, until it was past the time to get ready and leave.

  i left it up to my husband, and he made no effort to get ready and go.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  Congratulations to all that didn't go - it does take nerves of steel sometimes!
  
  It was my second year of not going and my wife Bubble has been asked by her mum if she went or not. i don't hink she has replied to the text message yet.
  
  As for me, nobody, not my mum or dad, none of my former 'friends', no elders or ms's from my old congregation and no-one from the hall I now live near bothered to ask me.
  
  Just proves to me how much I'm missed!
• 
  64

  Who has or has not been invited to the memorial?

  by misspeaches in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well the memorial is tmrw night and time is running out to give out invitations.

  (au time that is...) .

  last night my mother asked me if i've heard from any of my old jw friends.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  I was born into dubdum, got babtized at 18, married at 21. Later became a ministerial servant, gave public talks at my kh and even other halls.
  
  Got d'fed 4 years ago due to immorality. Remarried and vvvvvv happy. Went to first 2 memorials after being ousted but didn't go last year and will not be going this year. Really strange though that my elder dad and super dub mum has not invited me - nor have any of the elders from my last cong. Obviously all those years of service meant nothing to any of them. I'm not worthy of an invite. Am I bothered?
  
  NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• 
  33

  Were you ever scared of going to prison as a JW?...

  by Hecklerboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember growing up a jw and always being told that someday the goverment would turn on us and throw us in prison.. i was watching a documentary on national geographic about san quinton prison and it brought back old memories of those fears.. i remember thinking how scared i would be if i had to go to prison and what i could do to protect myself.

  i would think of how i could just stay in my cell all the time so no one could hurt me.

  especially after seeing stories on the news about riots and rapes and people getting stabbed.. leave it to the jw's to make a kid worry about going to prison.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  I can sympathise with you Morwen.
  
  Although not a PO, my Elder dad always was a good public speaker and was always giving talks at various congo's. He is one of those that wherever he goes some Witto somewhere will recognize him.
  
  He took early retirement quite a few years ago, thinking that the End must come soon - I haven't spoken to him for 4 years due to my being d'fed but i know that my parents recently had to 'downsize' there home, presumably because money is getting tight.
  
  Not too tight though - every year they are always off to at least one Assembly in some exotic part of the world - wouldn't dream of going on holiday just to relax or enjoy the scenery, oh no, it MUST include theocratic activity. A normal couples photo album would be full of famous places or fantastic scenery from their holidays. not my mum and dad, theirs are full of pictures of every Bethel and kingdom hall you could imagine, or pictures of 'brothers and sisters' from around the globe. How sad.
  
  Anyway getting back to the thread, when I was a Witto I remember my mum saying that she would rather go to jail than serve on a jury. How crazy is that when even the dubs say it's ok? Apparently she didn't want to judge her fellowman. Well don't judge me for leaving the org then!
• 
  33

  Were you ever scared of going to prison as a JW?...

  by Hecklerboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember growing up a jw and always being told that someday the goverment would turn on us and throw us in prison.. i was watching a documentary on national geographic about san quinton prison and it brought back old memories of those fears.. i remember thinking how scared i would be if i had to go to prison and what i could do to protect myself.

  i would think of how i could just stay in my cell all the time so no one could hurt me.

  especially after seeing stories on the news about riots and rapes and people getting stabbed.. leave it to the jw's to make a kid worry about going to prison.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  In the early '70s I remember my mum telling me to read the Yearbook from cover to cover.
  
  I was not even in my teens and I can vividly recall reading about persecution in Malawi and Germany. My mum said that we would all have to be prepared to go through persecution for the 'troof'.
  
  I remember thinking that the first time they tried to put me in prison or try and pull one of my fingernails off I would give in and name everyone in the KH immediately - I can't help the fact I'm a big chicken!
  
  As every year went by i was really glad that another one had gone by without any persecution - I didn't mind if other J Dubs had to go through it, as long as i didn't! How selfish was I!
• 
  26

  Crisis of Conscience

  by south african beef in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ive just ordered "crisis of conscience" from amazon.

  .

  i am already totally free from dubdom but will this book make sure that i never return?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  Thanks everyone for your comments so far - I now can't wait to get the book!!!!
  
  I liked the post about perhaps I would go back if Carmen Electra was going to the KH but how can i agree with that when I've got such a gorgeous wife in Bubble?!!!!
• 
  25

  Hate CO Visit

  by thepackage in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  our cong.

  recently had its co visit, and i realized how fake people can be when the co is around.

  elders take time off of work to go out on service during the week, ms's that want to be elders kiss butt to the co. taking the co and his wife out to lunch become a competition.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  I remember that you could always tell when it was time for the CO to visit - was it that i had carefully listened to the announcements the week before? No.
  
  Was it that I had worked out that it was 6 months since the last amazing visit and so we were due another one? No.
  
  Was it that i realised that i needed a spiritual boost and that my spiritual body clock told me it was time? No.
  
  We all knew the CO was about to visit because all the elders, all the ministerial servants and all those that wanted to be elders or ministerial servants HAD HAIRCUTS THE WEEK BEFORE THE CI WAS DUE!!!!!!!
• 
  12

  Getting on JWD on Saturday

  by poppers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  anyone else have trouble yesterday getting on to jwd?

  i tried three different computers and when i clicked on jwd's url each computer wouldn't access it - it would partially load the url and then wouldn't complete the load.

  i tried getting on over a period of over 6 hours and the same thing happened.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  I had the same problem.
  
  So did my lovely wife (Bubble).
  
  I thought it could be something to do with Firefox.
  
  Everything is ok today though, thank goodness.
• 
  18

  Looking for some guidance from those who have been there!

  by disowned&alone in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i was so excited to come upon this website today!

  it's so nice to read logical, educated voices who have been brave enough to walk away from this organization.

  i was raised a jw, and every person that i personally know that has left has ended up miserable.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  Welcome,welcome,welcome!
  
  My parents and brother haven't spoken to me for 4 years - it is hard but I truly believe the greatest loss is theirs, not mine.
  
  In a way I'm glad they don't contact me - my wife (Bubble) was disfellowshipped at the same time as me and her mother and sister who are both Witnesses do occassionally speak to her or meet for lunch. However they ALWAYS turn the conversation round to asking when is she going to come back, that they and the congregation miss her - she has to make excuses every year as to why she didn't attend the memorial. I obviously dont have to put up with that.
  
  I can honestly say that I have not been happier in my whole life than I am now.
  
  My best wishes go out to you.
• 
  26

  Crisis of Conscience

  by south african beef in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ive just ordered "crisis of conscience" from amazon.

  .

  i am already totally free from dubdom but will this book make sure that i never return?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  south african beef

  Ive just ordered "Crisis of Conscience" from Amazon.
  
  I am already totally free from dubdom but will this book make sure that I never return?